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Once upon a time, there was a slice of bread that had its own empire. It was a very big empire, bigger than the holy roman empire. As a matter of fact, it was the holy roman empire of sliced bread. It was the Holy Bread Empire. The emperor of this empire was Bread The Great. Just like many emperors, Bread the Great was very corrupt.
One example was the Flour Famine of 1223. During the flour famine, there was a shortage of…flour. The bread population couldn’t repopulate themselves using regular flour so they had to recreate flour using fine wood shavings. Since the texture of fine wood shavings had a texture similar to flour, the bread people thought, “Hey, we don’t need flour. As long as we have our yeast and wood we’re good.”
For the next five years, well, the bread people chopped down all the trees that surrounded their empire. Even though bread made from wood shavings was crumbly and had a stench of pine, the bread population went through the roof. The problem was The Holy Bread Empire couldn’t sustain the population growth so Bread The Great, instead of addressing the flour famine and deforestation around his empire, when the empire reached its…
