Member-only story
Meet Sally, the spoon. Sally is a grumpy spoon. The number of mouths she’s been in is too much to count.
She’s seen all kinds of mouths. Clean mouths, smelly mouths, mouths full of braces, mouths full of cavities, mouths full of tongue piercings, and toothless mouths.
She doesn’t have a favorite kind of mouth. All mouths are gross to her.
The worst part of being a spoon is when people suck on her to get every bit of food flavor off the spoon.
Don’t even get her started on people that lick their spoon. Her owner used her to bake cupcakes. She didn’t have a wooden spoon so she used Sally. She has never seen someone lick a spoon so aggressively. It’s just cake mix calm down lady!
She also doesn’t like people that scrape their food against their plate so they can have every particle of food off their plate. They grind Sally’s face on the plate and she gets headaches from that.
Sally hates it when people put a spoon in their mouth and just leave it there. They're too occupied with multitasking that they don’t have the time to remove her from their mouth.
So she sits there inside their dark smelly mouth — sometimes their teeth are grinding and chewing on her. What? She’s not a piece of gum. Get her out of here!
Being a spoon is no fun task. It’s s dirty and smelly job. Sally wishes she was a knife instead. People don’t put knives in their mouths.
Life is not fair to a spoon.
