Life as a Snowglobe

Meet Larry the snowglobe and his life as an object full of fake snow and fake water

Illustration made by the author.

Hello Larry, can you introduce yourself so people can know who you are?

Larry: …What’s there to know about me. I am a snowglobe born and manufactured in Iowa.

What do you love about being a snowglobe?

Larry: Nothing.

Can you elaborate?

Larry: No. I hate being a snowglobe. I hate Iowa and I hate this interview.

What made you hate being a snowglobe? People buy you during the holidays. Don’t you love it?

Larry: No. I hate being full of water, oil, and antifreeze. I hate being rattled and shaken to death so people can see tiny white stuff floating around my head. I used to glow at night but not anymore. My batteries have since died, rotted, and corroded inside the battery compartment. By the time the holidays are over, I have to live inside a stupid box where all the lonely sad holiday snowglobes live for the next 8 to 10 months.

There must be something you love?

Larry: Nothing.

Something?

Larry: No.

Just a teeny bit?